This post first appeared on gracetobeloved

You’re the One who never leaves the one behind.

How much of your own will do you follow?  How much of God’s leading do you follow?  Here’s the thing…as humans we generally do what we want to do.  We don’t check with the One who created us.  We usually check with someone we trust like our parents or closest friends, but how much are we checking with God?  Do you surrender to His leading?

I’ve always believed that my gut is God’s way of speaking to me.  When I’ve put myself in less than stellar positions my gut is the first thing to notify me that I strayed.  The best example I can give was years ago and when I was in my first relationship.  I was in a situation that I thought I was comfortable with…key word ‘thought’!  So everything seemed normal to start, no big red flags.  All of a sudden I got this gut wrenching pain.  I was immediately uncomfortable and wanted to get out of the situation.  This was the way God was speaking to me.  He knew this was not what He wanted for me and made sure that I knew it.  From that day forward, He has spoken to me via my gut and it’s never steered me wrong.

Now this doesn’t work for everyone as God has His ways of speaking to each of us.  Some of us can hear a small audible voice, some of us it’s a feeling of comfort, and some are blessed to actually hear Him speaking.

Following these queues can be some of the hardest things to do.  We think we know what’s right.  We know ourselves best…right?  Yes and no.  Yes we do know ourselves best however God knows the overall plan for us.  He knows the road map that we are to follow and we are just out for a joy ride until the signs are clear where to turn.

For the last little bit I’ve been trying to figure out my life.  I have it together however there’s a few things that I’m still lost on.  God hasn’t given me that part of the map yet!  Since I changed churches last fall I’ve spent some time trying to figure out my place in the world we call organized religion.

Now I have been going to church with my parents for the time being and enjoying seeing friends that I haven’t seen for quite some time (other than Facebook), but I don’t feel that I belong there.  Missing piece of the road map #1.

And of course that ever present cloud that hangs over my head and the heads of all my fellow single friends and community members…singleness.  This is the biggest piece of the road map that God has not showed me yet.  Missing piece #2.

Please don’t think that I sit around waiting for God to be like “Shawna enough wishing and hoping…here is the piece that you’ve been waiting for.  You’ve got what you wanted; now go.”.  It’s the waiting for the small voice to speak to you and that big moment of surrender to just go.  Live your life, go and follow Him.  “Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me.  If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.  And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul?  Is anything worth more than your soul?” (Matthew 16:24-26 NLT)

It’s taking up our crosses (struggles, trials, worries) and follow Him.  Give up your own way.  By now I’m sure you’ve all figured out how much music plays a part in my life; especially Hillsong Worship & Elevation Worship.  It’s the one moment where I can have a dance party alone, sing along like at karaoke or just fully surrender and worship God.

Last Saturday I got a tattoo.  Now with all my tattoos they all have some sort of meaning.  Half are Christianity based and the other half is family tributes and personal preference.  This one is by far my favorite tattoo!

If you figured by the title above this tattoo is based off the song So Will I (100 Billion X) by Hillsong Worship.  This song speaks of the exact surrender we need to do while we are waiting.  Even if you’re not in a season of waiting but a season of searching, this song is for you.  My favorite part of the song is below and the whole meaning of the tattoo:

If the stars were made to worship so will I
If the mountains bow in reverence so will I
If the oceans roar Your greatness so will I
For if everything exists to lift You high so will I
If the wind goes where You send it so will I
If the rocks cry out in silence so will I
If the sum of all our praises still falls shy
Then we’ll sing again a hundred billion times

If all these elements that He created follow Him and worship, bow, roar, why can’t we?  It’s a reminder that if everything exists to lift you high, SO WILL I.

I encourage you is to fully listen to it and meditate on the meanings.  Write notes, inspiration quotes, post-its for your mirror or wall, daily reminders to follow Him.  This season of waiting and searching doesn’t have to be a road map without a destination.

This season can be one of great fulfillment and pit stops of the road to ultimate joy and satisfaction.

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